Tag Archives: fat duck

He’s at it again

4 Mar

After being so disappointed with the first, I should have avoided watching the second episode of Heston’s Mission Impossible on Tuesday night, but intrigue got the better of me. Alas I was not surprised to find he was back to his old tricks, trying to force unrealistic changes onto a company who’s main priority is not the food it sells. Heston used all his tried and tested techniques to make management of Cineworld come across as being evil, mostly because they are profit driven. Of course, Heston would never sell the food he makes at high prices, no, I’m sure all the food at his restaraunt is cheap as hell, and I’m sure he hasn’t been getting paid an absolute mint for making these programmes either…hypocrite.

 I totally agree that Cineworld food is a total rip off and the profits they make on popcorn is a sign that they do mark up prices far more than the need to but Heston’s techniques to battle that were all wrong. Not only did Heston conjure up far too many different variations of snack that would confuse the staff and customers, but he was creating things that only he knew how to make, such as hot dogs made with ketchup and mustard inside with an edible napkin.

It also made me angry to see him patronising the staff just like he had in alder hay, simply because they couldn’t remember all the flavours he had created, or produce the snacks quickly enough when customers asked for them. If he seriously wanted his inventions to work in the cinemas, he would need to have a lot more patience and the ability to train up the staff to sell his silly ideas.

He was ranting on about calories in popcorn too which wound me up. People don’t go to the cinema for a nutritious meal, they go to enjoy a film and pig out on junk food. Rather than spraying fish stink all over the cinema to help “improve customers’ experience of films”, high sugar levels in food can release endorphins in the audience, giving them a more pleasurable experience.

Also, why did he keep going on about bringing the magic back to cinemas? Cinemas used to be an “exciting and magical experience” because they were new and people didn’t understand how they worked, but now they’re old and we know how they work, no amount of curry flavoured popcorn is going to solve that. I will admit I really liked the idea of candy floss in the cinema…but banana flavour?! He had to go and ruin it.

The cineworld manager said he might continue the special hotdogs and the popcorn icecream, but I doubt either will work as they would still have to cater to people who don’t like ketchup and mustard in their hotdogs, and they already have ben and jerrys ice cream which offers a wider range of more interesting flavours.

Sorry Heston, I believe that was another epic fail, but keep trying cause it’s all good promotion for your restaraunt and that’s all that matters ay?


Hold on there Heston

26 Feb

I think James Walton has summed up Heston’s “Mission Impossible” show, very well in his Guardian report. Heston has tried and failed, to come across as the sick child’s hero with his show that argues children would rather eat sick soup and snot shakes, to pizza, chips and spaghetti.

Normally I love watching Heston’s crazy culinary skills and I thoroughly enjoyed channel 4’s  “Heston’s Feast” , in which he’d treat a table of celebrities to some weird and wonderful dishes which followed a theme e.g. an actual gengerbread house made from children’s treats to follow a nursery rhyme theme.

However, this show was a step too far, as Heston tried to pretend that his style of cooking was more appropriate than the traditional style when it comes to getting children to eat in a hospital.

I’m not a fussy eater and I would love to try almost everything that Heston creates, however if I was sick in hospital and someone served me a smoothie that had the look and consistency of snot, next to a bowl of soup created to look like something that I’d just heaved up, I would probably lose my appetite.

The framing of the staff at the Alder Hey hospital was also very dramatic and un-called for. They made the cooks look like…idiots, and Heston implied that they had been purposefully giving the children disgusting food when he pointed out that they didn’t want to face the patients they had been catering for.

Not all cooks have an endless budget to spend on any ridiculous food they fancy, or get to boss around other chefs and revel in the praise their customers give them, Heston. Some cooks have to work their hardest to serve hundreds of people while keeping to all the rules and regulations of the NHS.

There’s no way that Heston’s ideas will be carried out in hospitals and I don’t have high hopes for next week’s installment either. Heston is trying to replace the popcorn in cinemas…stupid.

Heston, you stay at the Fat Duck doing your thing in your appropriate setting and stop trying to change the world one tomato eye ball at a time. We like our traditions, that’s why they’re traditions!